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He laughed then, truly laughed as a smile spread on his face and he plopped himself down on his new cheap sofa. No offense taken. It took him a moment to finish chuckling before he responded further. I see you learned absolutely nothing about me over the past two hours because you still apparently think that I am some rich, spoiled star who has collected endless amounts of useless shit just for the sake of having it. I worked up my best bewildered face. Whoa, wait, what? You mean youre not? Always a critic. He chuckled again. Are you hungry? I was thinking about ordering a pizza. I was starving. No, Im good. But if you want pizza, make sure you order from Gonzos. They have real pizza, not the frozen dough crap. Having grown up down the road from a pizzeria, I was known to be picky. Matt was smiling at me, his blue eyes sparkling even in the dim light of his new living room. Again, it seemed as though he was assessing me. Duly noted. For a second he just looked at me. Suddenly. . A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a colorful circus banner: DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN! Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists and other performances - but where’s the Amazing Goldstein?Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes are turned to the center ring. There in the spotlight is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man 5 foot tall and barely able to walk up to the table. He unzips his pants and whips out the longest shlong and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three swings!The crowd erupts in thunderous applause and the Amazing Goldstein is carried off by the clowns.Twenty years later the salesman visits a nearby town and lo and behold — he sees a faded banner for the same circus and the same “DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN!” message. The salesman can’t believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his incredible act! Of course, he buys a.
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